Close your eyes

I closed my eyes, counted to ten, and opened them up again. In doing so I realized how it feels to live in a universe composed of every single sensual stimulus in creation, and that as a man I will only ever perceive the smallest iota of a fraction of those senses. To have so much at ones fingertips, and yet be restricted by nature, by society, by morality; it is a cruel thing to be human. So I closed my eyes again.

‘Then again’, I reasoned internally, ‘If I cannot sense unobtainable experiences, how am I supposed to strive and work towards making them a reality? I should instead focus on what is tangible, what is easy.'

 

All of my growth as a man was made possible by the lessons I was taught as a child. These lessons of old, and the ones I encounter everyday somehow mesh together to form ‘normality’. But reflecting on this now I understand that I have the ability to create and change those lessons, and their meanings, until I feel that their results are vibrating at the same frequency as that my soul. I have the ability to take ‘normal’, and make it mine; make it unique. All I must do is open my eyes to the possibilities around me, yet in all of this learning and growing as a person the instant I think about opening my eyes once again it becomes clear that I am actually nothing compared to the actual learning and growing of every organism and process around me. To know that everything continues to exist in perpetual growth, decay, and transformation, and to realize that I barely have the power to perceive it happening is enough cynicism to encrust any heart and mind. So I keep my eyes closed.

Humans are the best at feigning ignorance because it makes us feel safe, ignorance gets rid of problems, of bad thoughts, which might turn to bad actions. It’s easy to ignore things that don't make sense, or things that make me seem small in such a giant world. So I make these things smaller, make them manageable, and turn my mind towards the future where I can make anything as big as I want, as limitless as I want. But my eyes are still closed.

So how does it feel to understand all this as I sit in a dark room blinking my eyes and thinking about the universe? It feels like standing on top of a mountain at night, surrounded by vast forests below and stars above, looking up into the sparkling milky sky, closing your eyes, and realizing that the black you see is everything that you know, and that if you could only open your eyes the entire universe is right there in front of you.

 So I opened my eyes.